My last post wasn’t my usual style. It was a big self pitting, moan about how tough mothering life is. Pretty useless dialogue, but I’m happy to report after a few wake up calls last week I have implemented some changes to ensure my road to ‘you can be a normal person’ recovery. Aside from taking a few dozen multi vitamins tablets on a daily basis now, Mr Vick has taken on night duty ensuring I don’t have to get out of bed at all of a night time. I have taken up residence in the spare bedroom for time being just until I have a bit of a reserve tank again and to allow Mr Vick and Little Vick to sort it between themselves up the other end of the house. It’s going well, apart from the little bit of guilt that I’m experiencing for putting Mr Vick to work. Now he is starting to drag his feet around the house and experiencing the same tired and bothersome symptoms I have had for the past 2 months (that’s being kind…. maybe 16 months is more like it). It’s unfortunate, but necessary.
There are a few things that don’t go down well when you’re in a ’sick of being tired’ mode. I’ve experienced them first hand so I’ve compiled a list of the top 6 things you should avoid if you find yourself in that pit hole:
1. Don’t be in a car that decides to break down in peak hour traffic. Even just reading that sentence back makes me tense. You guessed it, that’s what happened to me last Friday afternoon whilst in Melbourne with my ‘just keeping head above water’ exhaustion. I can’t relay the entire story. It’s just way tooooo epic but basically I spent 3.5 hours in a car that was allergic to crossing busy intersections. It gave up. Stalled and refused to restart apart from the occasional moment when it managed to muster up some energy to get going momentarily (my syndrome was catching)….. PEAK HOUR, MELBOURNE TRAFFIC PEOPLE! With Little Vick onboard, the stress was overwhelming and I had no resources to fight back the melt down tears and angry words which I ultimately shared with the RACV (who told me there was nothing wrong with the car the first time they came out to me – yes they came out twice before the message was clear) and poor Mr Vick who was helplessly at home in Geelong. I realised running low, means there is no ability to cope with any extra surprises or additional stress which may pop up. Life doesn’t work on predictability so no one can keep living so lowly fueled ‘cos there’s always a surprise lurking around the corner which you need to be fitting fit to deal with.
2. Don’t try and start a new diet or exercise regime. We all know we are kidding ourselves when we think we can do this. I don’t know about anyone else but food is definitely the biggest comfort when my body and emotions are in turmoil from exhaustion. I’m sure I’m not alone in saying the words “I have to have this piece of chocolate to get through the afternoon“. HAVE TO. Like being addicted to Valium, and exercise….well…pift. Not even worth mentioning.
3. Don’t visit your old pre baby life when you’re vulnerable. I made the mistake 2 nights ago to visit Melbourne (I’m now residing in the retirement village of Geelong) . The lights, the trams, it’s cafes full of personality, the people with their spunky vintage inspired outfits, it’s night scene, it’s limitless & unpredictable atmosphere…..it smelt of youth and freedom. I used to be directly apart of that (I know, I know, I still have youth and freedom…. ). It was always this country girls dream to live in the city and I did, and I loved it. I lived every element of the city life so visiting it that night made me feel rather Melbourne sick. I missed the unlimited options and excitement that my life once was and which my friends are still living (I’m the first in my gang to step into the motherhood role). The gulf between myself and my childless, single girlfriends had never felt stronger. Should have stayed home and tackled it when I was more on top of things and feeling less sorry for myself!
4. If you don’t have time to spare don’t get a ‘Pinterest’ account. A friend wisely pointed out when I first started dabbling with the site: ”It’s like Crack! Beware!”. I chuckled of course like any other unknowing, nieve being would only to now find myself, a week later, a fully fledged addict. As if I wasn’t getting enough sleep before, I am now staying up all hours of the night looking for that all awe inspiring and exciting pin that I can’t live without on my board. There’s something slightly unhealthy about it for sure.
5. Try and plan a wedding. I see why people usually have the wedding before the baby and also I now know why people plan and organise such an epic event over 12 or 24 months… not 3! It’s certainly added to my already choc a block daily list of things to do and they all have a sense of urgency! How am I supposed to prioritise? Wedding…or mothering? I have been titled “Mrs Google” in our household for my constant trawling of the net for ideas and resources. What else is a girl to do?
6. Don’t try and act normal. In my experience the more I seem on top of it to the outside world and pretend things are running smoothly, the more likely I am to go home and be a real bi*#ch to Mr Vick, which is hardly fair or worth it. Be honest and real always. You might even make friends with someone who is not a stranger to the same circumstances.
This is exactly what has happened to me after my last moaning, but very honest post. I have had some of the most caring and encouraging messages from readers all sharing their relating stories. Many from those I do not even know. I actually read a lot of them whilst I was broken down in that naughty car last week, and if I didn’t already have a tear in my eye, I certainly did after you all reached out and gave me a cyber hug at that crucial moment. I couldn’t appreciate it more. I just love this mothering community that surrounds me and us all. The sisterhood. It’s blown me away.
No matter how capable or comfortable you were/are in pre-baby life, we all end up going through the best and the absolute worst times together when we make it to motherhood. It gets us all eventually and there’s no discrimination. There is something comforting about that, at least.
So…. the wedding planning mother and part time blogger is back on board! Thanks for your luv peeps