I’ve been a little AWOL in the past couple of weeks. Man flu will do that to you. Especially if it sweeps through the entire family. Twice.
If I sound moany that is part of the symptoms. It’s not me, it’s the man flu.
I know this is not exclusive to my family. This man flu business has been stealing joy around homes EVERYWHERE this winter. Aren’t we a bit happy to see the back of winter next week? *We all nod profusely
Anyway. I thought it was all over for me. I thought I’d achieved victory in getting my good healthy self back. I even went jogging. This was all until I woke up yesterday with a sore throat + congested nose + flat mood + general allergy to children.
This is particularly shite because only a week earlier, I fell into the real pits of Mummy despair and didn’t want to do it anymore. I’d had a bad
day week. I wanted to kick the bucket. I was tired, I’m still getting up to feed during the night after all, I was sick, challenged constantly by mini humans and consequently felt defeated. I felt sad. I needed space and there was diddly squat chance of that actually happening. I had a child who was vomiting at me and another with a snot tap of a nose. Perfect.
So many times I have wished I had a mum around to corner to take up Grandmother duties and to enforce a breather. But it’s not my reality and I always go blank about who to call for a hand in such drastic times of need. That single fact made me feel really alone and added to my wallowing.
Mr Vick suggested I text two girlfriends and be candid about exactly how I was feeling and the difficulties of the household. I felt a bit crap about doing that. It’s not really my style and it’s always hard to admit when you’ve taken up residency in Struggletown. I did anyway and straight away I felt some weight lifted. They empathised and cared. That’s all I needed but they didn’t confine their nurturing just there. They found time. Albeit it wasn’t straight away – these woman are in demand and they live an hour away but when they came, they warmed my heart with their generosity and thoughtfulness. One bought flowers, dinner and hand cream. Yes, hand cream! She had asked her mum what was something simple she would have liked when she was a stressed out mummy and yep, it was a nice hand cream. Totally something I wouldn’t necessarily buy myself, especially a fancy pancy organic one. I put it on every night and think of that gorgeous soul of a friend of mine.
Another one came with lunch yesterday, plus cookies and sent me out for a massage. When I returned she’d folded washing and put dinner on too. The BEST.
They weren’t the only ones. Word got about town obviously. I had a really great chat with a gf who listened so attentively and then offered some alternative ideas to assist my health, another dropped four (!!!!) bottles of wine off in preparation for future mummy meltdowns and my sister in law delivered takeaway and played with the kids for a couple of hours.
They are all the epitome of gems. How blessed am I to be surrounded by warm, nurturing woman?
It’s emphasised to me the importance of having community around as a mummy. I have some family who aren’t restricted by distance but mostly my family have been hand picked. Chosen because they are a perfect fit into my jig saw puzzle life. Their friendship proven in the past two weeks.
I feel for the mums who don’t have this. The support. The networks. The carers. The listening ears. The people to offer open armed hugs and hand cream. Shite, that would be the epitome of hard.
All mums need nurturing and all it takes is a little bit of kindness.
Needless to say, despite my weakness for man flu, my spirits are higher now. I was held until I could hold myself again. Sadness has been replaced with gratitude. So now I can get on.
Who do you call out to when you need mummy support?
What makes you feel nurtured?
Whats the kindest thing someone has ever done for you in an hour of need?
Today I’m linking up with Essentially Jess for #IBOT