Nurturing The Mother

I’ve been a little AWOL in the past couple of weeks. Man flu will do that to you. Especially if it sweeps through the entire family. Twice.

If I sound moany that is part of the symptoms. It’s not me, it’s the man flu.

I know this is not exclusive to my family. This man flu business has been stealing joy around homes EVERYWHERE this winter. Aren’t we a bit happy to see the back of winter next week? *We all nod profusely

Anyway. I thought it was all over for me. I thought I’d achieved victory in getting my good healthy self back. I even went jogging. This was all until I woke up yesterday with a sore throat + congested nose + flat mood + general allergy to children.

This is particularly shite because only a week earlier, I fell into the real pits of Mummy despair and didn’t want to do it anymore. I’d had a bad day week. I wanted to kick the bucket. I was tired, I’m still getting up to feed during the night after all, I was sick, challenged constantly by mini humans and consequently felt defeated. I felt sad. I needed space and there was diddly squat chance of that actually happening. I had a child who was vomiting at me and another with a snot tap of a nose. Perfect.

So many times I have wished I had a mum around to corner to take up Grandmother duties and to enforce a breather. But it’s not my reality and I always go blank about who to call for a hand in such drastic times of need. That single fact made me feel really alone and added to my wallowing.

Mr Vick suggested I text two girlfriends and be candid about exactly how I was feeling and the difficulties of the household. I felt a bit crap about doing that. It’s not really my style and it’s always hard to admit when you’ve taken up residency in Struggletown. I did anyway and straight away I felt some weight lifted. They empathised and cared. That’s all I needed but they didn’t confine their nurturing just there. They found time. Albeit it wasn’t straight away – these woman are in demand and they live an hour away but when they came, they warmed my heart with their generosity and thoughtfulness. One bought flowers, dinner and hand cream. Yes, hand cream! She had asked her mum what was something simple she would have liked when she was a stressed out mummy and yep, it was a nice hand cream. Totally something I wouldn’t necessarily buy myself, especially a fancy pancy organic one. I put it on every night and think of that gorgeous soul of a friend of mine.

Another one came with lunch yesterday, plus cookies and sent me out for a massage. When I returned she’d folded washing and put dinner on too. The BEST.

They weren’t the only ones. Word got about town obviously. I had a really great chat with a gf who listened so attentively and then offered some alternative ideas to assist my health, another dropped four (!!!!) bottles of wine off in preparation for future mummy meltdowns and my sister in law delivered takeaway and played with the kids for a couple of hours.

They are all the epitome of gems. How blessed am I to be surrounded by warm, nurturing woman?

It’s emphasised to me the importance of having community around as a mummy. I have some family who aren’t restricted by distance but mostly my family have been hand picked. Chosen because they are a perfect fit into my jig saw puzzle life. Their friendship proven in the past two weeks.

I feel for the mums who don’t have this. The support. The networks. The carers. The listening ears. The people to offer open armed hugs and hand cream. Shite, that would be the epitome of hard.

All mums need nurturing and all it takes is a little bit of kindness.

kindness

Needless to say, despite my weakness for man flu, my spirits are higher now. I was held until I could hold myself again. Sadness has been replaced with gratitude. So now I can get on.

Who do you call out to when you need mummy support?

What makes you feel nurtured?

Whats the kindest thing someone has ever done for you in an hour of need?

Today I’m linking up with Essentially Jess for #IBOT

(Photo source)

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19 Responses to Nurturing The Mother

  1. Kathy says:

    I love how your friends were pragmatic and nurturing at the same time – we women are great like that and I think it makes us feel better to be on the giving as well as receiving end – no matter what man flu. Love that meme at the end.

  2. Dani from Sand Has No Home says:

    What a wonderful bunch of women! I’m glad that you have them.

    My mum lives 3 hours away, but will pop down for a few days to help out with the kids and give me a break, and I actually have some amazing neighbour ladies who I can count on too.

    Hope man flu is finished with your house x

  3. Oh what awesome friends you have! This mum thing is hard! Especially when they are little and have been sick. I think sick wears you down more than anything.
    I do hope you start to feel better soon. I’ve got a cold too at the moment, and would be glad to see the back of it!!

  4. Don’t you love it how your close friends just know how to make you feel better? I have a friend like this and she was sooo helpful when I had bub and when I was suffering really bad from PND. I didn’t have much family around or help and she was so kind to me

  5. Good friends are priceless, I’m glad you were able to be wrapped in love while you were struggling xx

  6. What beautiful friends. It has been a horrible Winter. I hope your house is sickness free very soon :)

  7. Oh I am so very happy for you – it’s not something I have much of – but when it’s really bad I just lock myself in my room and get hubby to do all the stuff that I usually do. Glad you’re on the mend but keep up those Vit C, garlic and echinagidangs (can’t spell that word) they have meant my cold never really got THAT bad. Hugs. Em – also visiting as part of #teamIBOT

    • Vicki says:

      I love that you barricade yourself into your room and make your husband run around. I’d be playing on that a bit more ;) I reckon the vitamins and garlic do help the cold buzz off a bit, I’ve been surely having my daily dose, thank you. xx

  8. Tegan says:

    It’s great that you have such supportive friends. I agree that we all need support in those mummy meltdown moments. As I said to a friend tonight, good friends really are worth their weight in gold!

  9. Awww how awesome are your friends?!! I’m so glad your husband talked you into asking for help. I’ve really been feeling for you because you’ve had such a shit of a time lately. I was talking to my sister today about being constantly sick and she told me about this magical green powder that she bought from a health food store for $55. She said it tastes absolutely foul but has about 70 vitamins in it to keep you running on all cylinders!

    • Vicki says:

      I know this stuff. My husband has it and I’ve been trying to work up the courage to have it. It looks vile. I can’t get passed how much it looks like cow poo whizzed up… but I can see the many benefits. I definitely think I could use a booster. Thanks for the tip!

  10. This is awesome, what beautiful friends you have. I just love hearing about women helping women/mums helping mums. I hope you’re well and truly on the road to recovery now.

  11. Oh Vicki, I wish we lived close, and we could have plodded through the man flu thing together last week! I’m so glad to hear what gorgeous friends you have, they are absolute gems by the sound of it.
    I’m counting sleeps until Winter is finished. Hope you’re all on the mend hun xx

  12. We don’t have any family close and when things get rough, they get really horrible. I feel for you. Still, you are lucky to have such friends.

  13. It takes a village!
    I take my hat off to all people raising littlies without family support nearby. My mum has saved my sanity on numerous occasions!

  14. Francesca says:

    How good is that spontaneous, practical help?! Reaching out can be hard, but it’s worth it :-)
    Francesca recently posted…In the LibraryMy Profile

  15. [...] over at Have A Laugh On Me has written a post about someone telling her something that just slipped and she totes could have [...]

  16. Grace says:

    I often forget that all I need to do is ask. Unfortunately, my mother and my mother-in-law aren’t close by but I have some great friends.
    So glad yours came to your aid. Hope you’re feeling better x
    Grace recently posted…#pbevent 2014: The Ordinary Doing the ExtraordinaryMy Profile

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